Practise 16 Cohesion and Style

            PRACTISE 2A

Read the following paragraph and complete the table.

La Ferrera (1997) has researched the life cycle of new businesses. She found that they have an average life of only 4.7 years. This is due to two main reasons; one economic and one social. The former appears to be a lack of capital, the latter a failure to carry out sufficient market research. La Ferrera considers that together these account for approximately 70 per cent of business failures.

La Ferrera: She

New businesses: them

Average life of only 4.7 years: this

One economic: the former

One social: the latter

The former..., the latter... : these

        PRACTICE 4A 

In the following paragraph, insert suitable reference words from the box below in the gaps (more words than gaps). 0 0 he / he / his / his / his / it / them / they / this

        FAMOUS FOR ?

When Andy Warhol died at the age of 58 in 1987 few people guessed that (a) he would soon become one of the most valuable artists in the world. In 2007 total sales of (b) his work at auction reached 428 million dollars. When, a year later, (c) his painting ‘Eight Elvises’ sold for over $100 million, (d) this was one of the highest prices ever paid for a work of art. In (e)his working life (f) he made about 10,000 artworks, and dealers believe that (g) them will continue to be popular with collectors in future. (h)This is because of Warhol’s huge reputation as a super-cool trendsetter and innovator.

             PRACTICE 5C

Read the paragrapgh below and replace the words in bold with reference words.

                VELCRO

Velcro is a fabric fastener used with clothes and shoes. It was invented by a Swiss engineer called George de Mestral. His idea was derived from studying the tiny hooks found on some plant seeds. They cling to animals and help disperse the seeds. Mestral spent eight years perfecting his invention, which he called ‘Velcro’ from the French words ‘velour’ and ‘crochet’. It was patented in 1955 and today over 60 million metres of Velcro are sold annually. 

            PRACTICE 6B

Use the following information to write a paragraph about nylon, paying careful attention to the use of reference words.

Nylon Inventor: Wallace Carothers

Company: DuPont Corporation (USA)

Carothers’ position: Director of research centre

Carothers’ background: Chemistry student, specialising in polymers (molecules composed of long chains of atoms)

Properties: Strong but fine synthetic fibre

Patented: 1935

Mass produced: 1939

Applications: Stockings, toothbrushes, parachutes, fishing lines, surgical thread

Nylon is a fabric material that was invenetd by Wallace Carothers. He works as diresctor of research centre. Added to this, before that he was a chemistry student, who specialised in polymers (molecules composed of long chains of atoms). His company is named DuPont Coporation (USA). The nylon is strong but it is fine synthetic fibre, it was patented in 1935 and it was mass roduced in 1939. Some of its applications are stockings, toothbrushes, parachutes, fishing lines, surgical thread.   

        STYLE

In the following sentences, underline examples of bad style and rewrite them in a more suitable way.

(a) Another thing to think about is the chance of crime getting worse.

 Another thing to consider is the chance of crime increasing.

(b) Regrettably these days lots of people don’t have jobs.

Nowadays, some poeple is unemployed. 

(c) Sometime soon they will find a vaccine for malaria.

A vaccine for malatia will be found soon.

(d) A few years ago the price of property in Japan went down 0 a lot.

A few years ago, the property's price in Japan went down.

(e) You can’t always trust the numbers in that report.

The numbers in that report are not very reliable.

(f) Sadly, the high inflation led to poverty, social unrest and so on.

The consequences of the high inflation are poverty and social unrest.

(g) He was over the moon when he won the prize.

He was very happy for winning the prize.

(h) I think we should pay students to study.

I think we should pay the students for studying.

(i) A few years ago they allowed women to vote.

A few years ago, women were allowed to vote.

(j) What were the main causes of the Russian revolution?

The causes of the Russian revolution were war and misgovernment.

                PRACTICE 4.1

In the following text, remove all repetition and redundancy, re-writing where necessary.

FAST FOOD

Currently these days, fast food is growing in popularity. Fast food is a kind of food that people can buy ready to eat or cook quickly. This essay examines the advantages of fast food and the drawbacks of fast food. First above all, fast food is very convenient.  Most of the people who work in offices are very busy, so that they do not have time to go to their homes for lunch. But the people who work in offices can eat in restaurants such as McDonalds, which are franchised in hundreds of countries. In addition, the second benefit of fast food is its cheapness. As it is produced in large quantities, this high volume means that the companies can keep costs down. As a result fast food is usually less expensive than a meal in a conventional restaurant.

Currently, fast food is increasing its popularity. This junk food's companies offer ready to eat food or a cook quickly one. This essay will examine the advantages and drawbacks of this type of alimentation. First above all, it is very convenient. Most of the people who work in offices are very busy, so that they do not have time to go to their homes for lunch. But they can eat in restaurants such as McDonals, which are franchised in hundreds of countries. In addition, the second benefic of it is its cheapness. As it is produced in large quantities, this high volume means that the companies can keep costs down. As a result, fast food is usually less expensive than a meal in a conventional restaurant.

                    PRACTICE 5

Re-write the following paragraph so that instead of six short sentences there are two long and two short sentences.

Worldwide, enrolments in higher education are increasing. In developed countries over half of all young people enter college. Similar trends are seen in China and South America. This growth has put financial strain on state university systems. Many countries are asking students and parents to contribute. This leads to a debate about whether students or society benefit from tertiary education.

Worldwide, enrolments in higher education are increasing. In developed countries over half of all young people enter college such as China and South America. This growth has put financial strain on state university systems. Many contries are asking students and parents to contribute; as a consequence, a debate is opened about whether students or society benefit from tertiary education.

The following sentence is too long. Divide it into shorter ones. 

China is one developing country (but not the only one) which has imposed fees on students since 1997, but the results have been surprising: enrolments, especially in the most expensive universities, have continued to rise steeply, growing 200 per cent overall between 1997 and 2001; it seems in this case that higher fees attract rather than discourage students, who see them as a sign of a good education, and compete more fiercely for places, leading to the result that a place at a good college can cost $5000 per year for fees and maintenance.

China is one developing country (but not the only one) which has imposed fees on students since 1997. Nevertheless, the results have been surprising: enrolments, especially in the most expensive universities. This have continued to rise steeply, growing 200 per cent overall between 1997 and 2001. It seems that higher fees attract rather than discourage students. They see them as a sign of a good education, and compete more fiercely for places. As a result, a place at a good college can cost $5000 per year for fees and maintenance.

11:02-12:28    24/11/21